Through Tears of Joy & Sorrow Always have Faith!!

Braelyn Makhi Tucker is my beautiful blessing from God!! He truly is a miracle in so many ways. I have left most of the daily updates to my mom, Braelyn's Granny, but I wanted to say few words to those who have come to visit my son's site. My mother says that I could write something that might be able to help others who find themselves having to deal with the emotional journey of having an extremely premature child. She says I might be able to help others have faith and to not give up. I'm not sure if I can, I can only tell you that giving up is NOT an option.

From the moment I laid eyes on my son my heart ached to hold him, to snuggle him close, to wrap him in my arms and never let him go. He was soooo tiny and honestly my mind was saying "How, how could a baby this small make it, do I really dare to dream of the day he would hug me and say "I love you momma"....12 ounces, the palm of Braelyn's hand was no bigger than the nail on my ring finger. My babies eyes were still fused together, along with his ears. Would he ever see me, would he ever hear me? Could this really be possible. The day after his birth I was told that if I wanted him baptized I should do it then, for it didn't look as if he would make it through the day. I stood there and listened as the Pastor spoke those words so quietly, as if even he had doubts that my son would survive. I have been told by the doctors that this could happen or that could happen and to expect the worst in most situations. It has been almost four months and I am not going to tell you that it has not been hard. I have cried more tears than I thought my body could produce. I have felt soo overwhelmingly alone in a crowded room, I have felt as if I would collapse at any moment, that my heart was going to explode.

There has not been a single emotion that hasn't taken form inside my heart, mind and soul. I have felt and still feel them all,. FEAR, DESPAIR, SADNESS, GUILT, ANGER, EXHAUSTION, JOY, BUT MOST OF ALL....I FEEL LOVE. Love for this tiny being, love for my Braelyn....my baby boy, my son!! Some people have called this journey like being on a monster rollercoaster. The problem is once you get on, you can't get off, so many twists, turns, flips, drops, just as you feel like the ride is about to stop and you can see the end, BAM..the tracks drop out from under you and you find yourself right back at the beginning and you have to start all over. You will have good days and then bad, then good, then awful and then amazing, but never forget, every day you get through is another precious day that you get to spend with your child.

The first time Braelyn smiled as I whispered his name, I thought "Dear God nothing in life could be greater than knowing that my son heard me". You will cry every day...but the tears of joy are worth every tear shed in sorrow. I don't care why Braelyn had to be born soo early, or soo small, I only care that he is here...I have a son, I am a Mother and no matter how rocky the start I would not change this very moment for nothing...Don't give up, don't quit, if the doctors say that there is something they can do....let them...no matter how hard you think it is, because in the end if is not meant to be, it won't matter. Just pray, have faith and love every moment, every second that you have. I hope to write more soon, but for now I have had to return to work and spend every free moment I have with Braelyn..He is a miracle and in my heart I know he's coming home.....

I was told point blank that I had "0% chance of raising my son, I hope through our story that I can give someone else 100% faith that the impossible IS possible!!!

Thank you for sharing in my son's journey Love & Hope, Christy, AKA Braelyn's incredibly proud Mommy!!!

I happened on your website, check it every few days, and am overwhelmed at God's goodness to you for letting you keep your little boy. It's awful what you are having to go through with the medical red tape...I just hate that! I have referred another family to your website, who has twins, with one OK and the other still in the NICU after 4 months. I'm hoping your journey and the wonderful way you have expressed your feelings will help them get through each day, with the "ups and downs" of having a baby with continuous progress and setbacks.

I'm a grandma of 7, including 2 sets of twins (different parents). The first twins were born at 33 weeks and just turned 10 and are fine now, so we had some experience with the NICU but not the severity of the challenges that you're going through. I rejoice at every day that Braelyn continues to grow, and can relate to how tired you must be. Give him a big smooch for me!

Christy, God bless you girl for being so faithful! God truly still performs miracles. I too have a preemie, a 27 weeker born 7/17/07.....I'm in Memphis too......... Email me if you ever need someone to talk to!

Christy, my son was born prematurely in November of 2006 at 24 weeks and 5 days, weighing 1 lb 10 oz. He spent 127 days in the NICU and has been home almost a year. He is doing very well, and now weighs about 19 pounds and is walking and jabbering and wearing me out!

I wish you the very best of luck. These kids are amazingly strong, stronger than us! I wanted to invite you to join the Preemie Blog group which has just been wonderful for me. To be able to communicate with moms of other micro preemies has been such a blessing and help when I have a question or I'm feeling down or frustrated. If you wish to, just email preemieblogmoms-subscribe@yahoogroups.com . The women there are truly inspirational, and it's wonderful to get advice and keep up with their miraculous children.

I am praying for you and for your beautiful son! I can't wait to read the post that Braelyn is coming home. Blessings to your entire family -

Liz

As the mother of an ex-26 weeker (Sarah born 10/11/07) I want to offer you my support and encouragement. Sarah was born weighing 14 oz. and dropped down to 12.5 oz. after birth. The Doctors told us on her birthday to turn off the ventalator and let her pass away peacefully in our arms. She was on the vent for 4 weeks and self-extubated weighing 1.5 lbs and never went back. Sarah came HOME after 114 days in the NICU weighing in at 4 lbs 9 oz. Today, she weighs almost 7 lbs. Doctors were sent to us by God but as a reminder (to you and them!) they are NOT God. Braelyn Makhi is a FIGHTER and his will to live is evident. I will keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers. Please check out our blog to see our baby Sarah's amazing progress. I hope it gives you the strength and encouragement you need to believe your miracle baby will be coming home soon.
babygirlrees.blogspot.com
Fondly,
Erika Rees

Christy,
You do not know me and Im not really sure what lead me to your site but I'm glad I'm here. My son, like yours, was a micro-preemie. We were told that there wasnt much chance and that he would have life long issues. Today Steven is almost 17 months old and weighs 20lbs. He is starting to walk and talk.
I remember the day that he was born and all the same feelings you shared I also had, plus many more that you will never be able to put into words. The road ahead of you will be long, exhausting and such and incredible blessing. Love your miracle, shower him with kisses and protect him with everything you have.
I hope to get to chat with you as we have much in common.
Meredith

I've had the opportunity to witness so many babies that God performed his miracles on,having worked in Newborn ctr and having two severely premature babies born in the family. I felt like I was just the person for God to use to give my cousin ,my neice and Christie hope. I shared with Christie and her mom,that I felt in my spirit that God's powers of healing would be manifested in Braelyn so that everyone could see miracles do still happen. When a family binds together to love and seek God as your family has,you have to be tested to see if you will still trust God in dark places and I feel your family has certainly passed the test with God.I sure nothing was more pleasing to God when the family did not give on him , but actually relied on him to bring Braelyn through....TO GOD BE THE GLORY.......Fight on Little Braelyn...............Love Vickie Spencer

Christy, that is a very beautiful and powerful message! Always have faith and never give up. Braelyn is a living testimony of strength and will; the will to beat all the odds. His story shows the power of God and reminds us to always have faith in him. You and Braelyn continue to be in my prayers everyday and I look forward to the day you can bring your son home. Soon, very soon. :) Love ya both!

I am so proud of you. Your story will help others depend of Jesus and find peace and strength in Him as they journey down the same difficult road. I pray you sense our prayers and God gives you all you need every moment. xoxo

Aww Christy. I love you <3 and i hope to see you guys soon. i hope all is well and continues to be well.
and ofcourse give Braelyn a kiss from NY <3

Monica Rae :]